Let's Leave Earth 3. Pilot and Cocoa

[Interior. A coffee bar. All staff are secret service operatives on secondment – chosen based on who had barista experience from teenage and student years. All talk is safe in the bar.]

Narrator There has been a long morning session and the first real quarrel. Gneiss and Tourmaline found themselves on the same side, but are still frustrated. They are eating courgette and lemon cake to calm down.

Tourmaline I just don’t think it would be practical at all!

Gneiss I know. I was relieved you felt the same. Pilot is leading up a total blind alley.

Tourmaline Total.

Gneiss And Cocoa!

Tourmaline When she agreed.

Gneiss I couldn’t believe it.

Tourmaline Neither could I.

Gneiss The only good thing is that it flags it up as a problem.

Tourmaline I suppose, but it’s going to undermine this whole stag of the planning.

Gneiss Honestly, I feel quite shocked.

Tourmaline It’s hardly the impression I got from Star Trek.

Gneiss I suppose they didn’t actually try to stay anywhere for long though, they visited but always boldly went again.

Tourmaline Well, that’s another deep-seated assumption in all of this. We’re all assuming the plan’s always to live on one planet even if it’s not this one.

Gneiss Well, no resources to use if you’re on a space station or always travelling.

Tourmaline What use will resources be if, either, they’re toxic to us, or we can’t send them back to Earth to sell? That whole commercial interested in rare metals pre-supposes a home market that’s still functioning. All the rare metals and minerals and things, I mean, who’d buy them in an outpost community subsisting between a set of airlocks on Mars?

Gneiss I take your point, I’m just saying, that’s where it comes from.

Tourmaline But it’s utterly ridiculous to think we could keep national governments! Pilot must have noticed we won’t have nations on our new planet.

Gneiss Didn’t you hear Cocoa? She’s suggesting we map the nations of Earth onto the new planet to scale, and then all move from the nation we live in now, to the corresponding new one.

Tourmaline No!

Gneiss Yes!

Tourmaline That’s insane! We can’t do that! How would we orient them?

Gneiss Using the same idea of the poles and axis.

Tourmaline But some nations would be in far better spots than others.

Gneiss So like Earth then.

Tourmaline Yes, but more on purpose this time and, therefore, more avoidable. It’s not meritocratic. There’d be war!

Gneiss And what about all the sites left empty just because that’s where an ocean was on Earth?

Tourmaline Well, and some countries might not want to keep their current neighbours if they had a choice. I can’t believe this suggestion!

Gneiss Didn’t you see me roll my eyes?

Tourmaline Yes.

Gneiss Well, that’s when I did it. Cocoa said it, and I rolled my eyes.

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